Today, a year ago


Juliet woke up, her heart heavy: Romeo is gone. But she got to pick up the pieces and be whole again. She reliased that life is a journey, not a guided tour. [Short Story,
Para 1 to be continued...]

I found the wisdom to accept things that I cannot change. I found the courage to laugh upon issues I don’t agree and to sail through life with a smile until the sea claim me whole.

Today 32 years ago, after a difficult labor, Mama gave birth to me. Today, a year ago, after a difficult labor, I gave birth to my son – Luqman Zain. Ah, the miracle of life is indeed overwhelming. I remember the operation teathre at DSH vividly.

Scene: Damansara Specialist Hospital, Labour Room 4

Date: May 3rd, 2006 (about 3 p.m.)

Dr Guna: [turning to Nurse Khairul Bariyah], “baby in distress, emergency c-section.Call Dr.Hilmi.”

Nurse KB swiftly left the labor room. 5 minutes later a serious looking anesthetic appeared with all his paraphernalia and two other nurses in tow. I have never been so scared in my entire life. My teeth were chattering like mad. Jefree signed some mysterious looking form. Truth be told, at that time, he could have signed anything in front of him! This is what I said to Dr. Hilmi in all seriousness I could gather:

Me: “Doctor, I am an extremely fearful person, I am really really scared, so please!” This what the audacious doctor said (actually padan lah muka I, trying to tell him what to do!)

Dr. Hilmi: “No matter how GOOD I am (oh really, how do I know that? I have never met you in my entire life my fried!), I can’t administer this, unless you cooperate. If you are scared, the baby could feel it, he’ll be distressed too (why must I hear this “distress” thing repeatedly?)”

Needless to say, Dr Hilmi couldn’t administer the epidural with me curled like a ball as I was shivering violently. He asked me to sit up, curve my back with Jefree holding on to my hands for dear life. The epidural went in finally. I was numbed from waist down in no time. My legs felt as heavy as the log. Nurse Khairul Bariyah and 2 other attendants wheeled me to the operation teather. Among the conversation that I could hear in the operation teather:-

Dr Hilmi: “something something at maximum level (must have been the drugs).”

Dr.Guna: “making the incision. Bla bla bla (incoherent speech, I swear I could hear him reprimanding a nurse, boy that was a scary).”

Me: “Sayang, what’s going on?” (looking at Jefree intensely)

Jefree: “Everything will be fine, nothing is going on” (yeah right! It wasn’t you that they are slicing up!).

Half an hour came and went. Then I heard Dr. Guna proclaimed “It’s a boy!” Jefree left me there and then (the nerve of this guy!) and rushed to Dr.Guna’s side. According to Jefree, Dr. Guna then cut the umbilical cord, handed Luqman to Dr. Musa the pediatrician. Dr. Musa came to my side, and said this “Elviza, this is your baby”.

There he was, crying on top of his lung, we was covered in a mud looking blood. Luqman Zain was born to me and Jefree at 4.16 p.m. on 3rd May 2006. Apgar test conducted by Dr. Musa and Azan was whispered to Luqman’s ears. I am now a mother. The sweet Dr.Guna came to my side, hold my hand and said “congratulation dear, he was a big boy, he felt heavy…” Dr. Guna, Dr. Guna, Dr. Guna…. I shall treasure your soft voice, your calm advice, your endearing touch. Words are scarce; I could not thank you enough. God bless you and thank you for bringing Luqman to our lives.

Dr. Hilmi;Okay, sorry for trying to tell you what to do. I am sure you are a good doctor after all.

Dr. Musa; you are in my eyes, the best pediatrician there is.

Nurse Khairul Bariyah: Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

To the father of my son; from this day on, no matter what the future holds, I will always love you because you gave me Luqman.

Luqman; You and I have a long way to go. We will chart this journey together. We will have our moments of difference, we will have a lot disagreements, we will laugh, we will cry together but you must always remember that I love you, more than life itself. Happy 1st Birthday Son.

Above all, I thank God for giving me this gift. No let me rephrase that, for giving me this treasure.

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28 thoughts on “Today, a year ago

  1. My dear sis elviza,
    Welcome back to the blogosphere.
    A very happy birthday to Luqman. For me here, just came back from my brother inlaw house. Ada orang baru datang pagi tadi. A baby boy. So bertambahlah seorang lagi anak buah.

    Adios

    Thanks Anon, drop by again when you are not 100 miles off shore.

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUQMAN AND CONGRATULATIONS TO PROUD PARENTS JEFF & ELVIZA. (Both my kids and my three grand-kids delivered by C-section) Whispering to Jeff: there still OE, original equipment. Sheebang!

    thanks Zorro!

  3. Allow me to repeat what Cik Gu said:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUQMAN (AND ELVIZA, DONT FORGET, CIK GU!!) AND CONGRATULATIONS TO PROUD PARENTS JEFF & ELVIZA.

    And, allow me to add, please:

    Mudah-mudahan Allah mengurniakan kebaikan yang melimpah-limpah dan tak terhitung kepada Jeff, Elviza dan Luqman! Amin!

    Terima kasih Pak Ngah….. makbul lah doa Pak Ngah. Terima kasih….

  4. Salam to Elviza.
    Alhamdulillah for 2 things.1-Happy birth day Luqman Zain.
    2-Welcome back after hibernating.

    Semoga ALLAH will always bestow his Rahmah,Hidayah and Iman to you,Jeff and Luqman at all times.

    You got among the best doctors in Malaysia esp Dr Musa the neonatologist. He is one strong guy who wants the Muslim medical fraternity capai kegemilangan ilmu again. And his ‘gang’ in MPF deserves a tabik spring.

    Happy birthday saudara Luqman Zain.

    Dearest TA, baby Luqman said (in his language), “thank you uncle TA!”.

    Really? I got myself among the best doctors in Malaysia? Now I know why the bills cots Jefree an arm and a leg. He he he…. tak pelah, all for Luqman Zain. No amount of money could be compared to his presence in my life. I read few neonatal magazine articles by Dr. Musa Mohd Nordin and I will follow his advice exactly on anything.

    Between you and me TA, I think Dr. Musa must have been menyampah sikit dgn I. Sikit2 I call, sikit2 I sms. Kalau I panic I run to emergency room demanding for him! Ha ha ha ha. Must leave Dr. Musa alone after this.

  5. So that’s the reason for the short hiatus. I think Zorro mentioned it earlier.

    Anywayz, happy belated birthday to the apple of your eye.

    PS: I’ve a ‘phobia’ towards big hypodermic syringes and blood donations are usually experienced under extreme duress for me.

    PPS: Good to have you back on-line.

    Dearest Shar, sorry to have pulled a stunt like that on you. Emotional person like me find it difficult not to control certain things. Obssesive compulsive more like it. W H E R E I S YR B L O G?????

  6. Happy birthday to you and your young son.
    may there be many many more

    Pssssttt Sue, my son will grow according to the right numerical number every year during his bday, but mine stay at 32 okay? Okay? dont tell anyone. This is our secret

  7. salam elviza!

    i hope the protest is over (i know mine is!)

    happy belated birthday & best wishes to your boy luqman.

    My friend, thanks you so much. I guess my protest is over too. Found the wisdom to accept things that I cant understand.

  8. Happy birthday to both of you, better late than never. btw my son’s name is Luqmanul Hakeem. Just adore the name Luqman. ;-)

    Ohhh…. thank you sweetheart. Thats thoughtful of you to include me in the greetings as well. Most people just think that it’s my son’s birthday! Yes yes yes…. your son’s name is so beautiful. Mudahan-mudahan they both will reflect the examples in Surah Luqman. Thanks once again Ekeen

  9. Dear Elviza,

    Now this one cuts close to the bone.

    Firstly, welcome back after the batt’s been “recharged” *wink*. And secondly, my belated birthday wishes for The Boy.

    Now thirdly is a story I’d ilke to share: (TA knows this already) which involves DSH and my own “epochal moment”.

    I almost “lost” my dearly beloved some years back if not for the quick intervention of a colleague of Dr. Guna’s – Dr. Maziah.

    I was lucky to be at home at the time, because usually I’m overseas plying my trade as Hole Digger. I hate to speculate – what if it had happened during my absence? – because “upstairs” work in mysterious ways and always for His Reasons. I can only say, “Alhamdullillah”.

    It was a Sunday, and we were ready to go out for lunch with our boys, then ten and three. There’s almost an eight-year gap between them because we had problems “conceiving”. I say “we”, because I was never totally exonerated since I had refused some years back to go for a “count”. So we let it be.

    She complained of stomach pains, a bit acute, and knowing my spouse’s high pain threshold – “normal delivery for the boys – I knew it was more than just a case of salmonella. So I thought it was serious – since DSH is just along the way – but not serious enough to warrant packing a bag – maybe a jab will solve it? – so I insisted on visiting the Emergency Dept. Being a Sunday, our regular GP was probably somewhere playing golf.

    The next thing was the emergency physician summoning a specialist, and asking to check-her in for further “tests”. You can imagine the “turmoil” going through both our heads; because we both thought it was a simple outpatient matter (“salah makan?”), and would carry on to our favorite Ayam Kampong restaurant with the Boys after. It was not to be…

    She was wheeled to a room and was confirmed to be”pregnant”. What?! But the “joy” was short-lived because the “pregnancy” needs to be teminated ASAP. Why? Because she was already bleeding internally. The foetus was dead – lodged in the fallopian and had “burst”. There was no time for anything! I asked if I can get her to Pantai (her reg Gyn is Dr. Hamit Arshad) for a second opinion but Dr.Maziah insists there’s no time. It was life and death! Just sign the papers, please! [side bar: Datuk Dr. HA had played a pivotal role in helping us conceive the younger boy]

    So she had an ectopic pregnancy that required the excision of her fallopian. “Don’t worry,” said Dr. Maziah after the succesful emergency Op, “she still has the other one”. And can theoretically still conceive.

    True enough, two and a half years later, after almost 15 years of “ups-n-downs”, we we finally blessed with our girl, who coincidentally share a same middle name as our Elviza…

    Sorry to hog so much space Elv, but I just wanted to share….

    No no no…. you are never hogging my space. You can write as much as you want and you are always welcome here. Never apologise again.

    When I read your story, I was like wahhhhhh (jaw dropping all over again). Must have been a nightmare for you my friend. Thank God that is all over now. I know of Dr. Maziah as her clinic is right in front of Dr.Guna’s clinic. Saw her in DSH from time to time. Glad she acted in time though. Otherwise, what am I raving about? [Stopping all the possible horror].

    Anyway, a friend of mine had problem conceiving as well. They went to Hamid Arsat for many years but it didnt work. Lastly they succeed with Dr. Idris in Pantai Medical Center. Whatever it is, we can only plan, the rest is up to God. Good day my Rig Man

  10. Did I miss wishing you a Happy Birthday? OoopS! :)

    Hmmm….took exception to Unker Zorro’s alluding “OE”. I prefer ‘em broken-in, Thank You…

    OBE, where’s the full-blown blog?

    My friend F, tu lah…. it’s quite tragic to share my birthday with Luqman you know, all the fuss is on him. Try this, on the morning of May 3rd, the father was crazily singing Happy Bday to his son but NOT TO ME!!! Argggghhhhhhhh. Never mind, a year older, a yeaar wiser. Must get over all these dramas.

  11. Pok,

    OBE dah jadi female “balid”. Tat’s why no blog out. Elviza can verify this. ha ha ha :)

    See Shar101, it wasnt me you know, all these people are influencing me to think about that old joke again. Now I felt really bad. Okay people, Shar is a MAN, true and true. Duh! (slapping my forehead repeatedly)

  12. What a relief.

    Welcome back and belated many happy returns etc.

    Shar101, OBE gimana?

    Dearest Captain Ancient Mariner Sir, thanks for the greeting. Sorry to have pulled a stunt like that on you. Needed few days to clear my head. Done that, back to my normal fast pace. Take care

  13. Only bloggers can do it, I say. Amongst other things.

    Turning one subject into another without batting an eyelid.

    OBE still under construction at – http://shar101.wordpress.com

    Now, if you will excuse me, I’d like to stick some needles into these voodoo dolls of Mat and AFM.

    Cheers.

    Oh Shar!! Why ar eyou sticking the needles to the vodoo dolls? Just kick them in! He he he … I welcome your MUCH AWAITED BLOG with open arms my dear. Are you stil singing the Moon River to me? Is the offer still up for grab?

  14. Hi Elviza
    Another Taurean wishing the delectable mum and the heavenly boy a double Belated Happy Birthday! Got the urge to watch Sex and the City DVD again (to recall that Moon River scene) but alas haven’t got the time yet.
    aMiR

    Hah another Taurean! Happy birthday in advance or happy belated birthday to you too. I havent watched that dvd a long time, now I am getting the urge from you! take care aMiR. Thanks for the birthday wish. A year older, a year wiser – hopefully hahahahah!

  15. dearest EM and Luqman, A double birthday wishes to both of you. I misunderstood you in my comment box – i thought the birthday is on Sunday!

    Now I’m late giving you both a wish.

    Anyway, wishing you both the best in life! Do we get a peek at the birthday party?

    Thank you Kron dear. Thank you. Can I email you the pixs instead?

  16. dear elviza,

    welcome back!

    (i already wished you on yr birthday…..wishing u again — Happy Birthday)

    and here’s for Luqman!

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUQMAN! You are a lucky little boy — you’ve got a wonderful mummy and daddy!

    take care, elviza

    Kak Ena dear, thank you so much for the lovely presents for luqman. Luqman also says thank you to Uncle Zorro and Uncle Rocky for the money & gifts. We appreciate it deeply.

  17. Elviza & Luqman… HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. My birthday’s just 2 days before yours (tahun tu lain kiralah kan…). The day my mom went into labour, they called it LABOUR DAY! :-)

    Eh Pi, I thought we are same age what :-) thanks for the well wishes. Happy belated birthday to you too my friend. God bless you and us all.

  18. Hey girl,

    Happy Birthday to you darling! Sorry i couldn’t be around to celebrate on the day itself but we did have great lunch the next day (though it was celebrating my birthday but i take it as OUR birthday celebration). I have the perfect gift for you. Sabar ye….

    To my Godson, Luqman…happy birthday my love. I’ll be seeing you on sunday (hopefully tiada aral melintang, mommy understands the reason for my absence for so long). Enjoy your early years when mommy and daddy will do everything for you. Muah! Muah!

    Hey girl, happy birthday to you too (must have been my 10th time wishing you this, and the same will go on years after years). I havent even bought you anything. Are we still going to My Fair Lady? Are we all up to it? Course I understand your absence. You ll be back right? Just like the good old days? Just like when the three of us were having coffee along the River Seine in Paris? Ah, memories. Luqman says “Where’s my GOD MA?????”

  19. Helooo Elviza…
    Welcome back and “Happy Birthday to YOU and baby Luqman “…for a moment there I feared you’d given up blogging all together…hmmmmm looks like you can’t stay away from the pc long either…!
    Whats important now is all’s good with the family and Godbless you and your family…!
    Now I’ve got another reason to have a drink… ‘hic’… Cheers !!!

    Stephen! He he he … no I decided I care about blogging too much & I have to keep doing it. Fear not my friend, as Sheih aptly put it “I am Ready!” Do you need another reasons for another beer my friend? Could give you endless list! See ya soon

  20. Hope it’s not too late to send love and well wishes for lil Luqman on his 1st b’day. And a very happy belated birthday to the mummy. All the best from your good ol friends in RESAA!

    Oh Yuki darling…. of course you are never late my friend. And thank you very much. Hugs and kisses to everyone in RESAA. Must drop by one of these days. I must I must I must

  21. MasyaAllah, Luqman is such a beautiful baby. Semoga membesar menjadi anak yang soleh. Happy belated one year old Luqman!

    :-) Thank you KC…. Amin, amin amin….

  22. Mich, u remind me of my time with Dr. Guna in the labor room!
    With his soft voice..oh mann..! Got to visit him one day…
    and NOo, i’m not prego YET..hehe!

    See, told ya I am not the only raving about Dr. Guna. Cant wait to see him again. Lets get preggo again, say next year? Please confirm ASAP

  23. Ha! Now I can write my comment… no need to register…yeay! Firstly, Happy Birthday to both of you, (rather late huh?).

    Secondly, glad you are back…I even tanya Kak Ena, Elviza nak pegi man Kak? Rupanya you are not going anywhere…alahai…blurrrnye I ni…

    Dalilah Dear, no no no you are not blur. I thought I ll be away for sometimes for things I cant fathom. Then, I thought, what the hell, life’s too short. I must stop being obssessive compulsive. So the jet plane didnt take off after all. It stays hopefully for a long time. Sorry for making you having to register yourself. Ader rude comments from the same person. Sajer je nak tengok selama mana dia nak melatah. Terdiam terus nampak nya after I slapped her with a notice. Hah! tak sia2 my law qualifications after all. Thanks for the birthday wish… thank you thank you. I love birthdays. Always have been.

  24. Happy Birthday to you and Luqman.
    I kept going back to your blog but did not notice your new entries. So silly *tepuk kepala* I did not see the titles and click on arrows on the top of the page. So, now after one week, I am reading this.

    Wow.. story of Luqman’s birth sounds nerve wrecking. Yet, I bet it was the sweetest and most beautiful moment when you heard him cry.

    Congratulations dear… one year later. ;)

    Jac darling,

    Its okay my friend, you can read me any other old time. I am not going anywhere soon! Thanks thanks thanks….

  25. Assalamualaikum,
    Hi michelle, how r u, still remember me? ym siew secretary ler, boss yg handsome tu ler.. hari ni tiba2 jer nak baca your blog lak. so..
    happy belated birthday to you and your beautiful son Luqman (berkat tengok muka ym kut he he). Moga jadi anak yang solleh. Aminnnnnnnn.

    Emi!!!
    Ko pun baca blog aku Mi? Isk isk isk….terharu sungguh. Mesti lah aku ingat ko…. dan x boss yang MASIH handsome tuh. Terima kasih

  26. Assalamualaikum Elviza,
    Just came to know of your blog. Must say you write pretty well and I can sense it’s straight from your heart as well.
    Congratulations on your becoming a mother! Luqman, a very fitting name for your son!
    I am truly touched reading about the ‘ol pakcik whom you met at the Chow Kit market. That’s something that people who are well off must do often.
    Bring some sunshine to the life’s of those who are suffering. May Allah SWT bless you and your loved ones with the Hasanah of this world and in the next! Ameen.
    Will be reading you from now on! Do’a for me too, Insya Allah!
    Wassalamualaikum. Keep writing!
    W’salam Mahaguru,
    Thank you for the kind words. Thanks for dropping by. Look forward to hear from you again p>

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