It’s raining again tonight. The rain brings a certain kind of ease to me. In this yet another sleepless night, I thought about a recent chat I had with a friend of mine.
Me: The heart wants a different thing isn’t it? Why does the heart want something that you can’t have?
I asked her point blank.
She stared into nothingness. Her face devoid of expression as she sat motionless on the sofa for the next few minutes.
Me: Well, are you thinking how to answer me or you don’t have an answer to that?
I pressed her when the silence was getting a tad eerie.
She moved her head slowly, heaved a long sigh and said:
Her: No, I don’t. Me, who usually comes up with a sharp reply to anything …err can’t answer your question.
Me: Hmmm…thats true; you always come up with plausible answers to everything.
Her pain was so intense. I could almost feel it in the air. With that she took her broken heart away.
My friends and I are largely skeptical about love. Experience has taught us all an invaluable lesson in so far as love and relationship are concerned. Nonetheless, I am still a believer in love. I want to keep believing in love. But sometimes, the twists and turns of life have a different agenda for us. With this undaunted courage, I will proceed to solve the complex equation of love, from a woman’s perspective. I have to give it a try. I owe it to myself and my friends.
Theoretically, Oxford dictionary defines love as ‘an intense feeling of deep affection.’ Ah, I wish it is that simple; and free from complications. But the love that I see in my life has a different definition. The cruelest love can do is to hurt you. Love has hurt many people around me, yours truly included.
I have seen the first kind of love, the kind that produces thunders and sparks everywhere. This kind of love makes you restless and jittery. It’s all good and healthy for a while…this kind of love. This kind of love makes you weak in the knees. However, this kind of love makes me a fraudulent poseur. Hey, it takes me a while to realise it.
I have also seen the subtle kind of love. The love that seeks comfort in the company of another person. This kind of love that doesn’t need expressions or assurances. This kind of love that grows strong in time like a root of an oak tree. This is the kind of love I entirely believe in now. Just like the kind of love my grandparents had shared during their life time.
Ah, to each her own.