Tender is the Night – IV

Consumed with emotion trying to put the act of the Israelis into a decent composition, I stumbled upon a scribble on my moleskine dated exactly a year ago. 

Here’s a peep at it in verbatim:

“Shell, will I find love again?” Suria demanded the answer from yours truly. Her piercing brown eyes looked straight at me, a sure sign of trouble, if I were to answer this one thoughtlessly.

Her favourite bowl of tom yam noodle remained untouched in front of her. She twirled the teaspoon around the coffee cup without purpose.

“Of course you will, don’t be silly.” I cordially dismissed her question after taking more minutes than it is allowed to answer one’s question.

Basil buzzed with activity at lunch hour. Patrons were eating and laughing but the ambience at our usual corner table was somber. Torn and maimed from the war of love, hope was fast leaving every inch of her body.

“How do you know? You are afraid yourself!” She retorted back in frustration. Her cheeks flushed with annoyance she could hardly concealed. 

Silence reigned over us. My wit was defied by the honesty of her question.

Her anger was so palpable I could almost touch it in the air. Sparkles in her eyes were no longer the colour of midnight stars – post her bitter divorce.

I heaved a long sigh. My gaze fell onto the woolen shawl around her lithe figure. Suria has always been a beauty; she has an uncanny ability to look nice in whatever she wears; she has the softest voice and sweet disposition. To me, she is a quintessential Malay lady. Men worship the ground she walks on until today – and that is to put it mildly.

“I don’t know, girl…but you will find love again someday.” I tried to reason with her. When it comes to love, I can’t even convince myself let alone some else.

“If that’s the case, when is someday?”

Wasn’t she just so relentless?

“When you are not looking. That’s when!” My voice went an octave higher (told you I was a born cynic,duh!).

“Is that how you found Jefree?” 

Yes Suria, that’s how I found him. The man of few words but all these years of knowing him, he has never given up on me and my idiosyncrasies. 

“Yes, I did. When I thought all men are scumbags, backstabbing, useless creatures of the universe, he walked into my life and criticised my reading choice!” Sorry, couldn’t help myself there. 

“It’s painful, you know?” The look on her face forlorn, as grey as December sky.

“I know Ya…and I’m sorry.” I wish I could uplift her pain with a wave of magical wand if I had any. 

But that was a year ago. Last Christmas eve, Suria’s fingers were the colours of the summer red with henna before she walked into the mosque for the akad nikah. She did find love again when she wasn’t looking for it. 

A thousand time goodnights, folks.


10 thoughts on “Tender is the Night – IV

  1. The conclusive solution to silence radical Palestinian groups will be to establish an international military force to police Gaza and the West Bank headed by a contagion of forces from the more secular Arab countries to ensure the smooth transition to a strong Palestinian state. If there is a well crafted plan to create a Palestinian state, I think most of the Arab countries will readily send troops to help develop a viable Palestinian state.

    A peaceful Middle East will definitely have a lot of ramifications. A peaceful Middle East will stem the tide and accelerate a decline in radical Islam. There is no greater hope than that the Israelis and Palestinians get tired of their tortuous past full of wars then sit down and work towards a peaceful Middle East.

  2. today i’ve been wondering about the exact same question your friend asked you. at this moment, i can’t bring myself to be optimist. i’m just heartbroken 😦

    Oh, dear…I know, it must have hurt so bad huh? *hugs*

  3. Dear Blogger,

    You wrote: “…her eyes were no longer the colours of midnight stars.” It was so spellbinding, I could imagine it.

    You should write more like this

    Dear Leenda,

    Have you ever? Sit in the porch at night, when everything is silent, and look up at the stars above? To me, that kind of night summarise the essence of life. Sigh

  4. Why does society,especially the Malays,be they the men or the women folks, attach this stigma, or scorn even, on divorced ladies?If only they know that half the time(if not more), it`s these very ladies who are the aggrieved victims of the hubby`s unfaithful shennanigans,or at the very least, that the couple discovered a bit too late that they really were not made for each other, and what was mistaken for love initially was just a grave error in judging one`s emotion.Plus, the whole gamut of other reasons,including domestic violence,etc,etc(but of course).

    Your little but very touching episode there,Elviza, is testimony enough that when Cupid chooses to release its arrow, it does not discriminate who the lucky taget will be.And, more importantly, that ultimate happiness and matrimonial bliss may not be guaranteed the first time around,and this is not entirely wrong.There`s always that window of hope out there, even to the most despairing ones.

    After all, the right to be happy, to be loved and to be wanted is a basic human instinct, correct?

    Yes,Ma`am,marriage is the bondage between 2-people, but it never gives any of the two complete ownership over the other.For it to last, there must be space enough for each of them to have their own lives, to pursue their own careers,to indulge in their personal interests, and yet,ultimately,to share the rest of everything, and to have common goals.


    Dear higashi-san,

    You wrote: “…marriage is the bondage between 2 people, but it never gives any of the two complete ownership over each other.” I couldn’t agree more.

  5. Michelle,

    Love and solace are two things which can be found at the weirdest places when you are not looking for it. I hope that you have found both at a corner somewhere in this world.

    Old friend Bryan,

    So tell me, have you found both at any corner lately?

  6. Another stirring piece from you, M’am.

    ‘Will I find love again?’ I used to ask this question a couple of times to myself, not that I really put my mind into it, but once in awhile, when you knoe, your so-called close buddies and mates got engaged or married, at some point, this kinda question bugs you. I cannot help it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

    Your friend, Suria is no different with this Suria over here, M’am. But one thing I know, and I agree with you that when we’re not looking for this one little thing called love, it comes if not knocking, bangin on the front door. We can never tell, right.

    Oh, Suria…don’t heed what I said dear. I often write with emotion. I know nothing about love. *wink*

  7. Ms,

    You know my colleague went to college with you in Banting. He was your senior. Now I know why he likes you a lot (even till today), you are so honest you can’t even hide it in your writings.

    But I guess its not easy to be dishonest in writing if it comes from the heart. Kesian my colleague tuh, sampai sekarang dok minat you lagi.

    But don’t tell anyone ok? I am afraid if if he found out, mati I!!!! Take care Eliza….

    Dear Noboby,

    LOL. Ah, you are so sweet. Thank you for the compliment, I hope you enjoy the post too.

  8. Elviza

    And to think that for over a year I ALMOST believed you when you said you cannot write. This piece is incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

    Like the advice you gave to Daliya (“You’ll find love when you’re not looking for it”), I’d like to say something to you along the same lines: You’ll find the writer in you when your not looking for her.

    So, dear, stop looking for that writer – you’ll just find that mean ‘internal editor’ instead. Just whip out the Moleskine, sharpen your pencil (since you don’t use fountain pens), and write your heart out.

    In other words, like everybody else, I enjoyed this piece immensely. I am glad the writer in you was able to whack your ‘internal editor’ over the head and break free (for a change)

    Dear Mat,
    I could not believe that this comes from the owner of Tea & Scones. I have died and gone to heaven 🙂

  9. Elv..
    This is a good one! Its just… beyond words…
    I cant write more as i’m using another hand to wipe out my tears…. 😦

    Sally, sorry to have made you wiping tears. Wasn’t my intention to make you sad. Hope you enjoy this piece of true event.

  10. Hey, congrats to Daliya!

    Y’know, women tend to give up easily. we often hear them complaining that nice men are hard to spot. either they are taken or gay and all the gay stuff. in truth, nice men are everywhere. you throw a stone onto a huge crowd and the odds are it’ll hit a nice guy’s head. only that, he may not look nice on the surface. i’d say try and dig deeper, and you’ll find what you’re looking for.

    ok, must be the weed doing the rooster-talking but its the heart that does the typing.

    charming isnt it? thats why i’m taken…



    You are charming, huh? I can see that a long time ago buddy! But I think “nice” is pretty subjective especially when it comes to men. 🙂

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